We human beings are built to worry about what others think of us. This can hold us back from doing what we need to do, from challenging ourselves, from growing.

Back in the day, way back when tribes were the thing, pissing someone off, especially if they were important (think the Chief or the numero uno hunter) could be a life-threatening mistake. If they didn’t kill you outright out of annoyance, you risked getting ejected from the tribe and well … as anthropologists tell us: an alone monkey is a dead monkey.

It was very important that we tuned into how best to tow the tribe’s line.

So our brain evolved to be very wary of what others thought of us. How well does this work for us today? Not so much. Letting this too-well developed part of our brain worry about what others think of us too much can be crippling. In the 21st century, we need a new way to decide whose opinion of us we will care about and whose advice we should take.

Here are my three tick boxes as to whose opinions you should care about and whose advice you should take:

1. Do you respect them as a person? Better still, do they inspire you?
2. Are they expert in the field that is challenging you, that you’re grappling with?
3. Have they taken the time to understand your particular version of the problem? Have they taken the time to fully ‘see’ you – the individual? 

Now, it’s not good enough to tick one or two of these boxes. Nope, they have to tick all three. Every single one. Look back over them.

Before you give people power over you, the worst kind of power, to make you feel bad, to doubt yourself, check these three boxes.

What you will find is the list of people you should give power to, at any given time in your life, is surprisingly short. You should be able to count them on one hand!