In this article I want to look at what is perhaps the most troubling issue for every human on the planet – how to move ourselves out of a troubling, often overwhelming, negative mood state.

Here is a summary of the 5 techniques – I could write a book on each one, so this is just an overview. It all starts with developing your Observer.

With our observer turned on we can pull back from just being our emotions to observing them. Until our observer is turned on we will just be emotional. There are five strategies we can use to move out of negative emotions once our observer is turned on. Our Observer’s first job is to choose a strategy to try first. Different ways work for different people, and different strategies work at different times. Children will most likely find the last 3 the most helpful – discuss them with your child.

1. Cognitive shifting ??? Challenge irrational thoughts or Detach from them by thanking your mind for trying to keep you safe (because that is why it worries). Detaching from your thoughts is probably the easier. Most fears are not truths, most fears will never happen, 90% of the things we worry about never occur. Problems that do actually occur in life are rarely those we worried about. Worry is very over-rated by our minds. Worse, it pushes out better thoughts. After detaching, shift your focus onto appreciating what is good in your life (find 5 things) or get to work on a project that is meaningful for you.
2. Understanding the origins of your emotions, who or what triggers them and why – so you can identify the point at which you can choose to go in a different direction. Identify the true origin of what is upsetting you. Often what we think is the cause is just a trigger. When someone evokes a strong negative feeling in us, often they have either reminded us of someone from our past or a part of ourselves that we are not too happy with. Until you understand the emotion, you will have great difficulty moving. In the same way, memories of situations, interactions with others that continue you to haunts us, do so because we have not learnt the lesson we need to learn.
3. Physiological shifting. A good sleep is the best example. When you’re really stressed, the help of mild sedative (e.g. Valerian) may be necessary – there is nothing worse than adding sleep deprivation to a problem(s) that you already have. A couple of drinks can shift our physiology to a happier place, but that does not mean that more is better!  Relaxation exercises, the half-smile manoeuvre and massage are healthier options. Antidepressant medication may be necessary if you become clinically anxious or depressed. There are lots of good non-addictive, non-sedating medications around now.
4. Behavioural: This is where we do something different to change our mood state. Approach a threat, or feared situation,  instead of avoid it is the most powerful. Skills training (e.g. assertiveness) is a different form of this. Mindfully connecting with nature by getting outside and walking through a park, or better still, along a beach, can shift our state as much as a valium tablet! If you are spiritual or religious, meditating or praying can be a powerful way of breaking out of a negative emotional state.
5. Engage competing emotions: Perhaps my favourite strategy. Visualise times of pleasure and achievement from your life going back to childhood. You can do this on awakening in the morning to start your day the right way round. Wander back to times when things went your way and bask in the feeling. Van Morrison’s song Days Like This is about these times.  The most powerful competing emotions to any negative state are laughter and appreciation. The latter can be hard to do when you’re feeling really down, so it’s much easier to get out a funny DVD, or watch some stand-up comedy, or go see some live. (As you can see there is some overlap between these strategies as this is a form of strategies 3 and 4 – but you get the idea.)

These 5 strategies are there for you to see which will work for you. At different times differents strategies will work better – trial and error them! Find two or three that work best for you. Read this list when you are down, as your memory will not allow you to access this kind of information otherwise.

Hope this helps.